The sushi worms…are eating…my brains.


Actually, I don’t know where I picked up my guests, but there’s a party inside me and they are eating all of my food. 

If you’ve read any of my posts from the last nine months you’ve probably noticed my health has been in decline. During all of this I’ve had recurrent yeast infections. 

September: anaphalaxis-like response to homemade chili, allergy tests concluded that I developed allergies to capsaicin (spicy compound in peppers), carba mix (compound found in rubber), and slight skin reactions to metals and wool. Blood tests show everything normal. The allergist mentioned that leaky gut may be at the root of my allergies. 

December 5: I stayed up late working, went to bed at 5AM and thought I was having a heart attack. Since then I’ve had chest pains and have a hard time breathing. Notice a lump in my breast.

December 30: Radiology appointment decides that the lump is an inflamed lymph node the size of an egg “probably FROM AN INFECTION” but no further action because it’s probably not cancer. 

March-April: Heart monitor and lung tests show nothing. On Monday at the lung appointment I asked my doctor about parasites. She laughed. 

But I’ve been so tired and confused lately I can barely get out of bed. As a last resort I picked up Paragone from the local health food store. Took my first dose along with bentonite clay on Thursday. I told Ryan I’d hold off after the first dose if nothing came of it. He was worried that the cleanse might just make me more sick. 

Friday: Worms. 

I broke down sobbing, both absolutely mortified and elated at the same time. Holy shit. 

It looks like I’ve got a tapeworm, but there are other things too. I’m worried that the red things I’m seeing are liver flukes. Also worried that they have taken up residency outside of my intestines, maybe in my lungs or other terrifying locations…like my brain. 

Ran over to my clinic and the nurse said the staff was all really interested to see what my results will reveal. From what I’ve read online (I thank Curezone for saving my life, hypochondriacs whatever) doctors don’t assume parasites for a lot of unexplained health problems. My doctor laughed at me earlier this week. 

I could have picked them up anywhere: Belize in 2008, Turkey or Russia in 2012, eating sushi always, sleeping next to my dog, taking care of horses, or maybe somebody scratched their ass at a restaurant while making my burger. 

All I know is that I’ll never touch a piece of raw sushi ever again.

And I’ll never look at my poop the same ever again. 

Does that give you the creepy crawlies? haha

Wearing one of these bad boys today. Really disappointed I don’t look like Tony Stark or Seven of Nine. 
Our doom will come sci-fi-style, NASA-funded study says




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